Overreactions and Returned Kindness

Walking down Spadina during daylight is usually something I enjoy. Strolling past Kensington Market, seeing dried fish vendors, and that limbless man playing a keyboard with his stubs. The sounds of the languages I cannot understand blend with his music as I walk by him, turning my head so as to avoid giving him any change. (I'm a student, I roll my change...)

Today was a little different. I was walking South on Spadina, coming from College street. On my way to work, I struggled as my hair was swept across my face by the wind. It was around Cecil street when I heard someone calling after me.

"Hey sweetie. Oooohhh, sweety you like nice. Hey sweetie!"

I parted me hair and saw an older man, probably in his mid-50s, walking towards me. My eye-contact avoidance technique is useful in many situations. Not this one.

The man, standing directly in front of me, grabbed both of my upper arms with a tight grip. I yelled "Don't touch me," and he looked shocked that this object of his has a mind of its own. As I yelled I could hear the childish tone of my voice, surprised at how loud and abrupt it was.

He pulled on me, but walked away shouting "bitch."

Not one single person stopped to help or to ask is I was OK.

I was in China town. That place is populated.

I ran a little ways up, but then continued my walk to work. I was only a few blocks away. When I got there, poor Andre, had to deal with me.

I walked into the break room, 10 minutes early for my shift. He asked how I was, I said I was well. I returned the question. Similar answer. And then I just started crying, feeling ridiculous the whole time. He was great though, offered me some water and then notified some female employees.

I took a few lessons from this situation. One is that the 'bystander' effect, where each person assumes someone else will help, actually exists. Another is that I am a selfish crier, I cry only when something effects me. Third is that I work with great people. My boss Trish gave me a chocolate bar. It was a Chex Mix bar, it was awesome.